I Was The Fattest Person in My Pilates Class…

Post partum adjustment - exercise, sleep...

…I was the person the instructor looked at and said with great pity gentleness to "keep trying" and to "not get discouraged". One whole room of taut bodies, all going to level 3 and one of me, for whom I'm sure the instructor went and created a beginning level.

And it didn't bother me.

I wasn't even using excuses in my head as I looked at my rolls of bellyflesh while struggling to hold my knees aloft. No, "I'll bet I'm the only one who had a baby a month ago", not even, "but it was my THIRD!" – no, not at all. Nothing.

Instead, to be honest, I was just psyched to be there, point blank. Happy to have that hour of stretching and exercise, courtesy of my sainted mother – SAINTED!!  Some distant part of my brain was mulling over the fact that I wasn't upset, comparing that to Meriah-from-years ago, the anorexic/bulimic Meriah who would never have attended the class to begin with it she was anything over 120lbs. HAHAAHA – and how funny is it that sometimes at our thinnest, we're our own worst enemies.

And sometimes we don't even even need to be thin – at any given point, we can be our own worst enemy.

That's changing for me, I'm better to me than I used to be.

He is too. He only woke up three times last night!

Don't you love those mittens??

Absolutely fabulous. Melissa made them for him and I think I'm going to just keep them on his hands until he outgrows them.

I think they make him happy, too.

xox

What's making you happy right now?

 

Meriah
Meriah Nichols is teacher and artist who lives in a yurt off the grid. She is deaf, has 3 kids (one with Down syndrome) and a lot of chickens. She writes about travel, disability, and getting dishes done. She likes her tea Earl Grey and hot.
Meriah

@meriahnichols

#deaf mom, teacher & #disability activist, living in a yurt #offthegrid. 3 kids (1 with #downsyndrome), a camera and a lot of chickens. Never a dull moment
RT @DisVisibility: MT When ASL Products are Made & Sold By Non-Deaf, Does it Hurt the #Deaf Community? https://t.co/oRoHiEGqr5 via @meriah - 2 hours ago
Meriah
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6 Comments

  • You are a brave mama for that. CA fitness clases fear me. Here, where I know everybody, see the instructor at friends' houses…I can deal.

    And I freakin' L O V E those mittens! If Melissa starts selling, all my gf are getting them for new bubs!

  • I got over a lot of my body issues while pregnant. I stopped weighing myself multiple times a day, let myself indulge a bit, and only paid attention to my size at the Dr office. Now that Ive had the kiddo, I still find myself only weighing myself once a week. I’m no longer in a competition….I feel whole as a mommy.

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