Marital Glue

I was reading some article recently on giving your blog readers WHAT THEY WANT and I was kind of stymied because I don’t actually know WHAT YOU WANT. While I try and stay within the parameters of traveling, disability and parenting, I’m pretty much all over the place with this blog. Kind of like in real life.

So I asked the Facebook hive mind what you all would like to see more or less of on the blog, what makes this worth your while to read.

This is a question I always want to ask but never do because it seems so loaded. You know, like, a total invitation to tell ME what you love about ME! And while I love knowing the good stuff, don’t get me wrong, I have a firm appreciation for knowing the  other stuff too. Not so I can stress out about it or feel bad – I have very thick skin in this regard – it’s because if I have 10 stories to tell, I’d rather tell the one that you actually want to listen to.

 I’d still appreciate feedback if you are up for it.

In the meantime, a friend did say that she wanted to hear a little more about how Mikey and I make our marriage work on the road like this.

I think I laughed till I cried when I read that!!! Because I’m telling you, we have hung on to our marriage by our FINGERNAILS this past year!! It has been so fricking hard.

We keep saying to each other that we just have to get through this year – just get through this. This is the hard part. Look at all those cool old people, those couples that we admire so much. They’ve been together for like 40 years and are so mellow and happy with one another. They all went through rough patches, they just kept their noses down and plowed ahead and GOT THROUGH IT.

This isn’t touchy-feely PC-American. We aren’t reading those books (we have them, we just can’t seem to get through them), we don’t go to therapy (- we’d love to but HA! How’s that going to happen??), we don’t have date-nights (-see previous), we don’t even get to sleep with each other when we camp because we have two separate trailers and the kids can’t be left alone yet!

And with the business of 3 little kids and the lifestyle we choose, we have had moments where we would be thrilled if the other took a hike to Mars and never came back. Only, maybe sometimes. To help change the diapers and feed the kids!

Things are really good between us now because we have gotten to the point where we can joke and laugh a lot about how ridiculous this all is. We’re also actively planning for next year, what we want to avoid in this mess we’ve made of not being able to have the space for one another.

 Our answer looks something like this:

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Room for us, room for the kids, space for them to play, space for us to play.

It’s been hard for us to feel attracted to what I call a “McRig”, which is you know, the ugly fiberglass linoleum beige-tastic piece of lower-cost comfort that most people use. Mikey and I love the retro stuff, Airstreams, even tricked out fabulous school buses.

But we don’t have the money for uber-kool retro rigs or Airstreams and we don’t have the time to trick out a school bus. We need to be able to buy and go.

 So… yeah. We’ve made peace with it.

And right now, seriously, this dream is making us happy when it gets to be too much. We feel like screaming from being squashed in the camper and we look at each other and say,

“MORE SPACE’.

 

Meriah
Meriah Nichols is teacher and artist who lives in a yurt off the grid. She is deaf, has 3 kids (one with Down syndrome) and a lot of chickens. She writes about travel, disability, and getting dishes done. She likes her tea Earl Grey and hot.
Meriah

@meriahnichols

#deaf mom, teacher & #disability activist, living in a yurt #offthegrid. 3 kids (1 with #downsyndrome), a camera and a lot of chickens. Never a dull moment
Stream of consciousness from the Little Yurt on the Big Hill on the Lost Coast https://t.co/b3DNpvK4a3 https://t.co/qiIfLd57ET - 1 hour ago
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3 Comments

  • I have been watching a documentary about guns, and how easily people can purchase guns in the US. One of the statistics they shared (Don’t know if it from the point of recorded history, or there is a point in 2010 when they started counting) but, it was said that drug cartels go shopping in the US to get the best quality for the best $$. This dude says that 66,000 deaths are a direct result of the purchase of drugs from Mexico and the US being happy to get drugs. Guns go down; drugs come up.

    I see these fabulous country that you are wandering all the time–are they safe? You are having fun, the kids look happy, you are doing something no one else is doing: work like slaves half the year, play like kids for half the year. It seems SO sublime.

    Do you evdr go places where you look around and go, “We need to leave NOW!”? I mean it looks like a sweaty paradise. I want to swim from those beaches, take local buses, see museaums, and all that stuff. But my state department says it is WAY too dangerous; donn’t go. You jave your honey there with you. Would it be as safe withouut him as with him?

    I see your photos and think, Have passport, will travel! Instead of cruising, maybe I need a big assed tent and a rental car to throw it in each morning. Yo soy blanco, blanco, blanco Anglo!! Seemed like you had a good time in Mexico City. Could I take the bus or subway and travel unmolested?

    When I go to Europe, if you get the right clothing, and don’t do too much eye contact, no problema. Todos personas son blanco, blanco, blanco. En Mexico I would be giganto mujer would stand quietly, not a ot of eye contact, no fitting in here. I would be a foot taller than the average Mexican woman. I could claim to be Canadian, but I would not have a chance at all of looking non-Anglo.

    Do you cross the border and drive and drive to put distance between you and the border? I can’t do what you are doing for months, but I could do it for 2-3 weeks.

    Thoughts?

  • I would like it if you wrote more on your deafness, it’s impact and your childhood particularly teenage years.

  • Hello. I just found your blog. My husband and I are TCK’s with 2 kids of our own. Our son Jacob is 8 and is a TCK too having lived in 4 countries besides the US. Our daughter Ashley is 18 months old and has Williams Syndrome. We are unsure if she will be a TCK. I was born in Boston lived there until I was 2 when we moved to the Ukraine for 8 years. Then we moved to India for 4 years and New Zealand for 8. I would be considered a religious and business kid- my parent’s first 2 stints abroad(Bangladesh before I was born and the first 6 years in Ukraine) were through mission groups. After that my dad got involved with NGO’s. I went to missionary kids schools in the early years before going to public school(Ukraine and NZ) and international schools(India). I went to University in New Zealand before coming to the States for grad school. My parents moved to Finland after I graduated and have lived there since. My husband was born in Florida and lived there for 9 years until his dad got transferred to France. He attended an International School in France from 9-14 and went to a English boarding school for high school, coming back to the US for college. His parents still live in France and his sister lives in London. Jacob lived in the US for a year before we spent 2 years in Finland, 2 years in France, a year in England and 3 months in New Zealand. We now live in Florida where I stay at home and homeschool Jacob and my husband helps run a printing company.

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