Lost Coast culture seems to be similar to Japanese culture, which reminds me of Minnesotan culture and that’s probably a reflection of Scandanavian culture. Hey, that’s like a walk around the world!
In a nutshell, people are friendly and polite and they need TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME to get to know you. And once you are in, you are IN. But whoah, does it take some time.
Having the kids helps as an “in”, Moxie especially, due to the the community’s ties with Down syndrome and special education (woot! one for T21 and the relay that is parenting!). But it still. takes. time. and there is just no way around it.
Friendship here is like a flower, it just. needs. time. to grow and bloom.
I’m willing to put the time in here, because when I look around, I see people that I’d like to call, “friend”. I see people that seem like they are really worth it
But there’s no ‘expedited shipping’ that I can employ in this.
It just. takes. time.
But it’s been hard because I’ve needed friends.
I’ve been solo parenting now for nearly the entire summer and the days just get longer. They are up to 14 hours now – Mikey leaves at 6am and returns at 9pm. He’s gone, in the hard business of farming and I am in the hard business of raising kids and managing the yurt, mostly alone and with the most rudimentary of tools.
This ‘hard’ business works in communities like the Amish because of friendships. Having supports, breaks. Raising the barn together and all that good stuff.
If you are alone, on a hill by yourself? With three little kids? Well, it’s pretty fucking mind-numbing and borders on breaking.
Even when your kids are beautiful.
Even when your hill is beautiful.
Katherine, who is one of my best friends in this world, sent her eldest daughter to help me, then came herself and then re-sent her eldest and her middle daughter back to help.
Her children watched my children and I was able to roll up my sleeves and slough away at my mind numb by carving out part of my mountain in a small terraced garden, preparing another area for a garden, deep cleaning and organizing the yurt and the camper (in preparation for travel after harvest).
But Katherine coming up and spending time with me?
Oh man. That made me feel alive again, just being able to LAUGH. Dreaming and planning and talking long hours also played its part.
We did a lot of that. On repeat.
It’s such a weird thing sometimes, isn’t it?
I was instantly friends with Katherine – I think over the years it’s been about opening up more, but we had no problem in being fast friends from the start. I think it’s that our experience, being deaf and growing up in a hearing world and hearing communities, is not so common.
here on the Lost Coast, it’s just going to take time to develop those friendships.
I’m going to need to do that and have something a little firmer in place for next year – maybe provide an internship or a nanny opportunity? Something will work out. Something will happen.
Everything always works out.