From the Depths: A Story to Love and Glimmers of Brightness

Is anyone even reading this blog anymore? I wonder. I'm scared to ask and definitely too scared to check my numbers.

At least I know my Mom and my Mother in Law are reading… um, right, Ma?

***

 

 

Here's Mac, as of today

He's covered in pimples, the remnants of my hormones all coming out of him. For some reason, I find it incredibly endearing.

Not so his behaviour at night.

Little Tyrant with the Bottomless Stomach.

Seriously, this kid never*stops*eating.

And if there is one thing this is teaching me, it's that having a child with Down syndrome spoils you. Or at any rate, my child with Down syndrome spoiled me completely rotten!

She slept!

She grew slowly so she didn't eat all that much!

She wasn't fussy!

She made me think I could do it all again. And I gotta tell you… there's been times recently that I just wonder. Enter post partum depression, that cheerful beast.

I last left you where I picked up my prescription for an anti-depressant, right? Despite being kind of freaked out that I was on a quick slide to the gates of a drug-addled HELL, I took it. And Jesus, Could. Not. Wake. Up.

Even when I was awake, I wasn't.

I had to get off of it just to take a shower and change my clothes. I'm trying some other stuff now – more along the lines of some natural action (think, yoga, acupuncture), and my blessed saint of a mother (do you hear that, Ma? YOU ARE BLESSED! YOU ARE A SAINT!! THANK YOU!!) is coming every day and taking our two other munchkins out so that I can sleep some.

Praise God. This story just might have a happy ending after all.

****

Are you still with me? Awesome. I want to tell you briefly about a story I've just heard. It's here in this blog, Adopting Nugget and Lovebug. Carrie, a disability rights activist with Larsen's syndrome, is in the process of adopting two kids right this very minute – one, her soon-to-be-legal-daughter, who has her same syndrome and her soon-to-be-legal-son, who has Cerebral Palsy.

We're trying to get a BOB Duallie stroller for her kids – the BOB Revolution company sent me over to Safe Kids and it's in process now. If you are the praying type, say a prayer that Safe Kids will donate this, would you? Thanks. If you yourself would like to just gift them with the stroller, here is the link to the stroller – just shoot me an email so I can help connect everyone safely.

Either way, I'll be letting you know how this unfolds. I'm terribly excited for this family. Oh my. Those lucky kids and those lucky parents!

Lucky, like me.

****

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Meriah
Meriah Nichols is teacher and artist who lives in a yurt off the grid. She is deaf, has 3 kids (one with Down syndrome) and a lot of chickens. She writes about travel, disability, and getting dishes done. She likes her tea Earl Grey and hot.
Meriah

@meriahnichols

#deaf mom, teacher & #disability activist, living in a yurt #offthegrid. 3 kids (1 with #downsyndrome), a camera and a lot of chickens. Never a dull moment
So lovely. Thank you for this, @OjiDannelley, and your message needs to be heard. #poweronhttps://t.co/UD0fSaTH7l - 24 hours ago
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21 Comments

  • I am still here, still drinking in your baby pictures and living vicariously through your happy moments!  I hope your more natural remedies work for you, but if they aren't quite enough, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a more mild, less dopey antidepressant on the market. 🙂

  • Hey, I'm still here!!  Where have YOU been?  🙁  Love the pics, love that precious new little face in your family!  Wow, that really sucks about the anti-depressants!  Yuck.  Glad you found an alternate.  ((hugs))

  • Still here, still reading! Trying to stay afloat from the 6 inches of snow we got Friday evening here in MT. Sorry to hear the pills weren't your thing but hopeful for you that your alternatives will be just the right prescription. Have you considered feeding Mac a bottle of formula just at bedtime so that he will sleep with a FULL belly? Just an idea….

    • oh, wow, SNOW! it must be gorgeous..

      yes, I do feed him a full bottle of formula at bedtime! And then another one, 2 hours later. Then breastmilk. Then formula. Then breastmilk… and it goes on. I think he consumes 4-5oz every couple of hours…which is what Moxie consumed in a 12 hour period, I think

  • Still here and reading! So sorry you are having a rough go. I agree, my child with Ds spoiled me as well! Even with all his medical problems he too slept well. My 3rd was a wake up call. Literally. Hope things calm down soon for you and you can find the right mix. Hang in there!

  • I'm reading your blog, lovely wonderful one.  And all the pictures on facebook, they make my day.   Some day in real time, though.  I need to hold that littlest one in my arms before too long.   xox

  • Still here! And oh, do I love seeing Mac look at his siblings.  Hoping all your naturals tricks start doing their job.  I always find aerobic exercise to help… when I'm not too depressed to actually do it.  But with 3 kids, you'd need a super amazing mom around to do anything like that, I bet.

  • I'm here! and loving every word you write and every picture you post … and even those you don't! My mom NEVER reads my blog, my daughter with DS never slept and was her most social between 7pm and 6am. I was really jealous of other families whose children with DS behaved so-called typically. THere seem to be a whole bunch of supposedly 23rd attached attributes that she just doesn't have: like being organized or a neat freak or into routine. Nope. Not at this house! {{{{HUGS}}}} to all over there.

  • Lots of love. My Mr Loka went from a regular sleeper (6/7pm-midnight each night i could count on) to no regular no way. It's *one* of the rasons my blog is on hiatus!

    I love seeing your photos and I think about all 5 of you often. Hang in there Mama, and blesblessbless your Mama too!

    Praying that stroller comes through….

    • Thanks, Kelley, and Meriah, for your kindness.  Im grateful for the blessings – to be able to help – and enjoy my grandbabies – and their parents – and also  having the daily treat of your blog and all the photos.

  • I'm still here. 🙂 I read because you're amazing. We have a few things in common – single for a long time, wanting to not be… and narcolepsy. I am frankly in awe that you do so great – as evidenced by the photos and wonderful blog posts. I don't think I could manage being a mom with what little energy I have, so it's amazing to see you doing it! Kind of like watching a fantastic ballet performance. Sorry I don't applaud often enough, I'm usually just sitting slack-jawed in amazement. You're up against some _tough_ odds and being a hero (even if you don't feel like it.)

    I've never had a baby, but I raised a baby dog to adulthood. I realized when she was 4 months old that I really needed to take moms seriously when they said they felt like they were going crazy. The pressure, the being someone's center of attention CONSTANTLY, the messes and messes and messes to clean up, the boundaries to set and fight about… the waking up every 3 hours! (In my case to help potty train, rather than feed.) It's amazing what it does to a person's brain chemistry.

    Hang in there. We're pulling for you. And remember that a hero isn't a hero unless they face overwhelming odds. You'll see the other side of this moment somehow. I promise.

  • OF course we're here reading.  Don't stop.  i am literally brought to tears sometimes with your posts.  Love your stories and your accomplishments.  Keep on truckin!

     

    Great post here today!

  • We're here sweetie……sometimes life and the insanity of the Holidays gets in the way…

    You are most blessed with beautiful children and supportive family and that's what really matters!

    Hang in there & God bless you and yours

    ~Sharon~

  • Still reading, and enjoying the pics of your beautiful family. 🙂

    I've been on anti-depressants that put me to sleep, too…sometimes you have to try a few before you find the right one, unfortunately. I hope that the sad feelings pass soon.

  • I'm still here too!!!!! Not reading everyday like I used to but I read EVERYTHING you write mama! I hope the yoga and the acupuncture help you instead of the drugs! That Mac is delicious… I want ot squeeze him!!! is a feeling I have when I look at yummy babies! lol! I can't beleive he's that terrible… with that little face of his… but is thrue, babies with Ds spoil us bad, that's why I haven't had a second baby… 'cause that one is going to drive me nuts!

     

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