Traditionally society has drilled into us that we need to start a family before we reach 35, but nowadays that’s simply not the case, and for good reason – 35 is young by today’s standards, more women are working in careers they’ve spent a lot of time studying for, people are getting married later or not all, and just in general attitudes towards how life should be and what a normal lifestyle should look like especially when it concerns marriage and kids is completely different to how it once was.
However, there’s still that element of societal conditioning there that causes people to question themselves if they feel like they’re not on the “right” path by having children or have got married by a certain time in their lives.
There’s absolutely no doubt that you, and only you will know when is the right time to start a family and it’s absolutely not something you should allow anyone to pressure into doing before you’re ready or make you feel bad for if you haven’t done it within their timeframe.
In this post, we’re going to share with you some things to think about on either side so that you can focus more on what works for you and your situation and less on what society or your friends and family think is right for you.
Having kids when younger:
- You’ll have more energy – when you’re younger you’ll obviously have more energy than when you get older. Of course, raising children is still very tiring, but typically you will have more energy to do things like play with them and drive them around when they need it;
- It could be easier to conceive – one of the many mysteries of life is that it does tend to become that little bit more challenging to conceive naturally after a certain age, and of course since everyone is different and things also depend on your own natural fertility as well as lifestyle factors and timing, this isn’t going to be the same for everyone, but it’s definitely something to consider if you’re planning to wait until you’re a bit older to start trying. The good thing is that nowadays there are so many different things that can be used to help aide conception, from acupuncture to fertility treatments such as IVF. However, when considering such things then you do need to look into IVF success rates so you can have the best possible chances of conceiving without spending a fortune on every treatment;
- You may be less financially stable – although this is certainly not a rule, and there are many variables to consider, it’s pretty often the case that having children younger in life means you could be less financially stable than you would be later in life since you’ll possibly not have had the same amount of career experience and had the ability to work your way up the ladder and get things like promotions. It could also be that you’ve never worked before and fell pregnant out of school or college, so although this can definitely have some other benefits such as the aforementioned energy levels, if financial security is important to you before starting a family, then this could be a good reason to wait a while;
- You may relate better to your children – no matter what age you are when you have children, it’s absolutely the case that you’re going to love them unconditionally, and hopefully be able to have an open and good relationship with them. However, it seems that the older we get, the less we’re able to relate to the younger generations, even if we ourselves were once quite like them. This is something that younger parents often find a little easier since the generational gap is smaller and can lead to closer relationships with your children – especially as they get older and approach the teenage years;
Having kids when older:
- You may be more financially secure – one of the great things about waiting until you’re a bit older to have kids is that you could have the chance to be more financially secure than if you were younger. This can be especially good if you want to be a stay at home parent, as this takes away a lot of the stress between you and your partner deciding who should stay home with the kids and who should work or trying to figure out things like babysitting and daycare;
- You could have less energy – although your energy levels have more to do with your lifestyle and things like genetics than it does your age, it’s also quite normal that you could find yourself getting tired more quickly and having a bit less energy when you’re older than when you’re in your twenties or thirties and are more able to play sports and run around after multiple children;
- You could find it more difficult to conceive – nature is a funny thing sometimes and doesn’t always work in our favor or remain consistent, but if you do want to statistically boost your chances of conceiving more naturally, then it’s definitely worth considering that it unfortunately does become more difficult as we get older so if this is something that’s important for you or you know that fertility issues are something you may be faced with, then you may not want to wait too long.
- You may relate to your kids less – as we get older and more mature it can be difficult for us to relate to remember what it was like to be young and this makes it more difficult for us to relate to the younger generations. This doesn’t mean you won’t be able to have a good or open relationship with your kids, but as you get older it can certainly be more challenging to cultivate a relationship of mutual understanding for both you and your child. Especially as they get older and start approaching those awkward teenage years.
As you can see, there’s no right or wrong time to start a family, but only what works for you individually, so we hope this post has helped you identify that.