If you think about it from your parent’s point of view, you can kind of get why they might be how do we say, a tad resistant to the idea of moving out of their home and into a care community (not least because care community sounds major-patronising). That said, you still need to approach the subject and find a way to convince them it’s the right thing to do because, well, you’ve noticed a few things that basically say they can’t look after themselves properly anymore, things like the recent falls they’ve had, the fact they can’t balance without perching on a counter and the pile of final notice letters that are sat on their kitchen table.
It sucks. This whole conversation and concept and reality sucks. Big time. But that doesn’t mean it is any less important to tackle, which is why we have pulled together a few helpful pointers to make it as pain-free as possible. Remember, deep breath.
- Unleash the Discussion
First things first, prepare for your parents to argue for their independence, even if they know they can’t properly care for themselves. As such, you need to be able to prove the stigma wrong and convince your parents that the reality of assisted living is actually epic. Our advice: research the options super-thoroughly, subtly find out what your parent’s assisted living requirements are, get your other family members on board, use a pink highlighter to spotlight the best benefits and, most importantly of all, let your parents know it is their decision. Let them come to this decision on their own, let them decide what they want and let them have the final say in where they go.
- Care Level Consideration
Not all elderly parent care requirements are born equal, which is why it’s so important you and your parents develop a plan about a) their current needs and their future ones. The problem is, this is far from easy. It’s complicated and delicate and just a big eggshelly. So, our advice would be to bring in a social worker or maybe a geriatric person (but maybe change the name) to help you assess what your mom and dad’s needs are. It could be mobility, a chronic condition, autonomy and anything else that will help you figure what care is most appropriate.
- What About Cost
Unfortunately, life is a wish-granting factory where you get to have what you want just by hoping for it. Money has to come into the conversation at some point. As such, you, your parents and your family need to sit down and work out what will be most feasible. That’s not all, though. There will be a lot of costs and outgoing and whatnot, all of which could become a hellish conversation topic, so make sure transparency is addressed too. Make sure everyone that is involved knows what money is going out, where it is coming from and where it is going to. Trust us, you’ll save one giant, throbbing headache from causing an issue.