And her diffuse fetal hydrops is gone as well. Not there. Vamoos. She has some swelling around her neck, but that's it.
Rainbow is a 'she'.
I can't stop crying and it's so overwhelming. You know?
The amnio part of it sucked ass. I could really feel that needle going in my uterus (pop! like a pinprick to a balloon) and all I could wonder was if I was doing the right thing by doing it at all.
Now Kaiser's confused and wondering how and why the heart hole just closed up – couldn't see anything – and her skin is right back on. So they are going to do more testing because just in case she doesn't have Down's Syndrome or Trisomy 18 (remember: there is still a chance she's got those), they want to know what caused it all. And the swelling around her neck.
They said that sometimes things like this happen if the mother was sick and asked if I'd been sick – uh, YES! By golly, I had the flu, right before I went in for the monumental Dr.Walton-"your baby is going to die"-ultrasound appointment.
I don't know what it was. What it might be. All I know is that I'm grateful – so grateful – to still have her. And no matter what happens, I'm going to stick by this baby here, in me.
Meriah Nichols is a counselor. Solo mom to 3 (one with Down syndrome, one on the spectrum). Deaf, and neurodiverse herself, she’s a gardening nerd who loves cats, Star Trek, and takes her coffee hot and black.