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humboldt

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When we were up in Humboldt last week,  we all went for a walk in the Lady Bird Johnson Grove. This is a great little trail to walk with kids – it’s also completely accessible (wheelchair and stroller friendly; lots of benches niftily perked throughout for people that need breaks).

The thing about redwoods is that they make me feel both tiny and huge. Tiny because well, there is that fact that  they are one of the biggest living organisms on earth. And they make me feel huge because deep thoughts slip into my head, thoughts on the nature of how interconnected all of us on our precious little blue ball really are.

The silence of the forest soothes.

Until, you know, Micah has had enough and pipes up, “are we done yet?”

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Travel Australia: Travel.com.au

I’ve never been to Australia but hopefully one day I will make it down under. I want to go to Perth in particular because it’s uncanny how many cool people I’ve met from that great town.

Travel.com.au is a hop skippity site with lots of easy, accessible info on flights, including international and cheap ones. They go beyond the standard Qantas flights and info, hitting Singapore Airlines, Jetstar and more.

Travel.com.au: for all of your Australian-bound or away needs.

…So, I’ve been depressed again.

 

It wasn’t just the IEP meeting – that was kind of the whipped cream, chocolate sauce and cherry on the sundae that was already built.

 

I don’t know…it seems to me that I’m dealing less and less well with the Bay Area.

I’m really grateful for the water supply there, but my heart is just not in it, overall. It feels like such an effort to connect with people, you have to do things I’m not good at like set up schedules, times and be on time and drive around and find parking and buckle and unbuckle small people into seats that secure them. I completely suck at this stuff.

 

And I know I’m probably making everything better than it was, but I long for places like where I lived when I was young. Levuka (in Fiji), where “town” was a tiny strip of archaic building 2 miles away, where our neighbors were our best friends and we knew when “Uncle” Adrian on the tiny hill behind us was baking bread because we’d smell it. We could lay out the butter and jam too because he almost always made an extra loaf for us.

I want that again.

I want the small, the intimate.

I want to know people and I want to be known.

I want goodness and wholesome life; crunchy without pretense.

Where we can dance in the backyard to Donna Summer and Christopher Cross and the kids can be naked and loud and free and I won’t have  that nagging worry in the back of my mind about the neighbors.

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I want what I want and try and make peace with what I have and be grateful for what is.

And in the meantime, I’m fortunate enough to have my mom (– sainted!) who will drive me and the kids up to hang out with my brother, his kids and my grandma who lives with my brother.

my niece, Yu Rou

It’s a good place, a crunchy place where people might talk about going to their backyard garden to get some kale for their morning smoothie

 

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But it’s also a place people drive those monstrous trucks and do redneck-y things.

Yeah, Humboldt.

Where rednecks, the counter culture, Native American tribes and crunchy folk can – and do – coexist.

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photo 5The streets are broad.

I used to hate that. I felt so exposed, walking around.

Now, though, I love it.

photo 1I feel like there is more freedom for the kids, that it’s safer somehow.

I am not sure why.

Cars can veer out just as easily in those big wide streets as they do in the Bay Area, but I can’t shake my feeling of safety.

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I love the love

 

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My brother’s kids loving my own.

 

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Love, too the unexpected bends and twists in the road that lead to green places

 

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Walking with my baby in the morning, knowing my other two are happy with my Mom, asleep.

 

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I miss my One True Darling Man, Mikey terribly but sometimes I just have to do what is going to take me out of that space, you know?

I’m just incredibly lucky that I have the wherewithal and the help – not to mention the place – to go to.

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Being in a spot with beauty, space and wonder embedded within it’s very heart is a balm.

photo 4“The eye altering, alters all”

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I’m letting mine be altered.

 

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