post partum


Have you ever read Haruki Murakami? I became a fan of his while I was living in Tokyo – books like his A Wild Sheep Chase and Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World would simultaneously thrill and scare me. Imagine, reading all about subversive, quirky and mysterious plots involving a subterrainian Tokyo world… while you are riding on the subway in Tokyo. It was kind of weird and I kind of really liked it.

Early Tom Robbins reminds me of Murakami. Still Life with Woodpecker? To me, that’s pure Murakami, with a funny American twist. They have the same sort of surreal, twisted logic that makes you kind of look at everything and…wonder.

Well, and yes – I think I am going somewhere with this! – this baby-business of milk/pumping/nursing and whatnot puts me in this kind of Murakami space. Like I could be in my twenties, sitting and drunkenly talking about the “meaning of life” – only I’m not drunk, I’m not in a bar, I’m not in my twenties, and I’m not with anyone else (besides the baby, anyway). I’m just spending a whole lot of time alone and looking at a wall. I get into that world where Murakami and Robbins make a whole lot of sense.

Moving on, the object of my madness:

IMG_6851 Oh yeah, he’s  intensely cute. I don’t need to say anything so obvious as “it’s his saving grace” or “that’s just a baby’s survival tactic”


 “Evolutionary: survival of the fittest, and the it’s the cute that win.” Because everyone knows that stuff, right?

IMG_6862 This little guy though. Yeah. He’s cute. A soul that was born old.

IMG_6864He makes the world seem mad, crazy – and magical. All in one fell Murakami/Robbinsesque swoop


Maybe I’ll be back tomorrow with something else.

Or maybe I’m going to be off chasing sheep in Hokkaido.


So… if you don’t hear from me, you’ll know where to find me.


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Is anyone even reading this blog anymore? I wonder. I'm scared to ask and definitely too scared to check my numbers.

At least I know my Mom and my Mother in Law are reading… um, right, Ma?




Here's Mac, as of today

He's covered in pimples, the remnants of my hormones all coming out of him. For some reason, I find it incredibly endearing.

Not so his behaviour at night.

Little Tyrant with the Bottomless Stomach.

Seriously, this kid never*stops*eating.

And if there is one thing this is teaching me, it's that having a child with Down syndrome spoils you. Or at any rate, my child with Down syndrome spoiled me completely rotten!

She slept!

She grew slowly so she didn't eat all that much!

She wasn't fussy!

She made me think I could do it all again. And I gotta tell you… there's been times recently that I just wonder. Enter post partum depression, that cheerful beast.

I last left you where I picked up my prescription for an anti-depressant, right? Despite being kind of freaked out that I was on a quick slide to the gates of a drug-addled HELL, I took it. And Jesus, Could. Not. Wake. Up.

Even when I was awake, I wasn't.

I had to get off of it just to take a shower and change my clothes. I'm trying some other stuff now – more along the lines of some natural action (think, yoga, acupuncture), and my blessed saint of a mother (do you hear that, Ma? YOU ARE BLESSED! YOU ARE A SAINT!! THANK YOU!!) is coming every day and taking our two other munchkins out so that I can sleep some.

Praise God. This story just might have a happy ending after all.


Are you still with me? Awesome. I want to tell you briefly about a story I've just heard. It's here in this blog, Adopting Nugget and Lovebug. Carrie, a disability rights activist with Larsen's syndrome, is in the process of adopting two kids right this very minute – one, her soon-to-be-legal-daughter, who has her same syndrome and her soon-to-be-legal-son, who has Cerebral Palsy.

We're trying to get a BOB Duallie stroller for her kids – the BOB Revolution company sent me over to Safe Kids and it's in process now. If you are the praying type, say a prayer that Safe Kids will donate this, would you? Thanks. If you yourself would like to just gift them with the stroller, here is the link to the stroller – just shoot me an email so I can help connect everyone safely.

Either way, I'll be letting you know how this unfolds. I'm terribly excited for this family. Oh my. Those lucky kids and those lucky parents!

Lucky, like me.


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