Mac’s teething.

You know, that sounds pretty innocuous. Like he’s just knawing at stuff sometimes, chewing on one of those little ring things – or maybe a frozen carrot – and letting those little buds of teeth push through.

And that’s a total far cry from what is actually happening.

What is actually happening is night screaming – and I’m talking the back arching, kicking everything in sight, screeching, red in the face, full-on HOWLING. Coupled with this is the relentless – and I do mean relentless – all night nursing.

And like “teething”, “nursing” sounds pretty innocuous. Baby tethered to mama, all gentle and in soft focus like the pictures.

And that’s not what’s happening.

What is actually happening is he chomps down on my nipple and PULLS it with his entire body while he kicks me in the stomach, pokes his finger directly in my eye, nose and does a thorough mouth examination while he’s at it.

It’s as if one type of inflicted pain isn’t enough for this kid.

When I disengage him and try to latch on again gently, sans all the kicking, he starts the camper-shaking-howling. So we go at it again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

Then I start to feel like a battered mother and it’s a choice between trying to let him cry it out if/when he howls when I disengage him (and chance the entire beach camp crying too) or I got lucky and he fell asleep.


On some more well-rested objective plain, I can’t help but wonder at WHY people don’t talk about THIS stuff, I mean why is all the focus always on child birth? Childbirth wasn’t a walk in the park but compared to teething, it’s cake. Pull a baby out of me any day, rather than teeth out of my baby. Ugh.


It is a good thing he’s so cute by day light. It’s all about self-preservation and survival of the species, isn’t it? No baby would ever make it if they weren’t all so big-eyed and gooey-smiled when not screaming their heads off, would they?


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