Katherine and I are presenting at SDS this year on Deaf Identity.
We really wanted to talk about it because we have so many questions ourselves, about what is means to be deaf – or Deaf. She wears cochlear implants, I wear hearing aids. She is fluent with ASL, I am not. Neither of us hears much – if at all – when we take our respective devices out.
After working on our presentation for a while, we realized that we don’t have answers at this point. We have a multitude of questions.
And so… this is about just that. The questions that we – deaf women, deaf mothers – have about deaf identity.
| Deaf identity | What is it? |
| What is identity? | Is it “an instance or point of sameness or likeness”? |
| I don’t know… is it? | Or is it “exact likeness in nature or qualities”? |
| I don’t know… is it? | Or is it ““the state or fact of remaining the same one or ones, as under varying aspects or conditions”?” |
| I don’t know… is it? | Or is it “the state or fact of being the same one asdescribed”? |
| I don’t know… is it? | Or is it “condition or character as to who a person or what a thing is”? |
| I don’t know… is it? | Or is it “the condition of being oneself or itself, and not another”? |
| I don’t know… is it? | Or is it, “the sense of self”? |
| If it’s the “sense of self”, then how does being deaf fit in? | Or how does being deaf relate to a sense of self? |
| What is being deaf anyway? | Yeah, what is it? |
| Is it the absence of hearing? | Complete and total? |
| Is it a type of hearing? | Partial? |
| A perception? | A synthesis of sound? |
| A presence of silence? | A type of processing? |
| Can you hear and be deaf? | Do you need to be Deaf to be deaf? |
| What is Deaf, compared to deaf? | Isn’t Deaf related to culture? |
| What is culture? | Isn’t it defined as “the sum total of ways of living built up by a group of human beings and transmitted from one generationto another”? |
| Is it? | Or is it, “the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group”? |
| You really are a dictionary, aren’t you? | I don’t know; am I? |
| Maybe you are, maybe you’re not, but the question remains, right? | What question? |
| If culture is the behavior and beliefs characteristic to a particular social, ethnic, or age group, or if it’s sum total of ways of living built up by a group of human beings and transmitted from one generation to another, how does this apply to being Deaf? | Isn’t it because the Deaf use sign language as their primary form of communication? |
| But can they hear at all? | I don’t know; can they? |
| Is hearing or the lack of hearing critical to forming a part of Deaf or deaf culture? | I don’t know; is it? |
| I mean, do you need to have an absolute absence of sound to be deaf? | I don’t know; do you? |
| If sign language is an integral part of Deaf culture, then what about people who don’t sign? | People who are deaf? |
| Yes, what about people who have an absence of hearing but don’t know sign language? | Are they considered deaf? |
| Or do they consider themselves deaf? | What would make someone consider themselves deaf? |
| Is it an absence of hearing? | Or a presence of silence? |
| Is it a way of processing sound? | Can you hear and still be deaf? |
| Can you use hearing aids and still be deaf? | Or cochlear implants? |
| Are you still deaf if you use technology that enables your ear and/or brain to hear sound? | Or do cease to be deaf once you can hear? |
| What’s the criteria? | IS there criteria? |
| Or are there only questions? | Without answers at this point? |
| The end | Any questions?! |
Meriah Nichols is a counselor. Solo mom to 3 (one with Down syndrome, one on the spectrum). Deaf, and neurodiverse herself, she’s a gardening nerd who loves cats, Star Trek, and takes her coffee hot and black.
This was great coming from two deaf women. I have encountered the same questions being a mommy of two deaf girls. It was wonderful to hear the both of you explore this topic. You guys have a great sense of humor and thank you so much for this post. I really enjoyed it.
Elisheba