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Some Thoughts on Monica and David

Some Thoughts on Monica and David

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Monica and David: the story of a couple with Down syndrome who get married and begin their life together. It was originally aired a couple of years ago but Netflix just picked it up, which means I’m watching it for the first time.

It really had me bawling like a small child through much of the first half.

I think just watching it brought up so many of my hopes and fears regarding Moxie. That she’ll find love, be happy with someone. Wear a gorgeous wedding dress because I want to dress up my daughter, dammit! Have a wonderful party and celebrate love found. I want these things so much for her, my breath catches in my throat and my eyes well up. Again.

The story of the mothers – both young and whose husbands split – also made me tear up. Both Monica and David’s mothers love their children very, very much and that is abundantly clear.

They are also both, by their own words, over protective.

Now, while I can totally understand the propensity to be over protective, it’s hard for me to see that actually becoming a reality with our own Moxie. I’m just not sure she’d stand for it.The girl is more independent than any of us. She leads the way most of the time and we just kind of bumble along, following.

I don’t know how that’s going to play out over the years, of course, but it’s hard for me to see a situation like the one they had, in which Monica and David don’t go anywhere alone; they are constantly with Monica’s parents. Moxie isn’t even three and she throws huge, colossal, on the ground fits when we don’t let her ride her trike or do what she wants.

I don’t know how much of Monica and David’s willingness to go along with the chaperoning was learned or just came naturally, you know? Were they both every bit as independent as Moxie is, and then their mothers over-protected them out of it?

I don’t know.

The cooking bit also had me kerflummoxed. Two grown ups, not cooking? How did that happen?

That’s so not going to happen with Moxie.

Even she didn’t want to cook (-she does), it wouldn’t because we are a Cooking Family if we are anything. We watch PBS cooking shows for fun; Micah calls us over if he sees a good Julia Child episode is on. We make yogurt and mayonnaise by hand and pie crust from cereal.

It WAS, however, a good reminder to make sure we continue to include Moxie in cooking endeavors in the same way we included Micah when he was her age.

Back to Monica and David.

I liked the documentary, overall. I thought it hit a nice tone, not overly sentimental and not “inspirational”. There is a lot of love in it, Monica for David, David for Monica, the parents for the couple and so forth – the love really spoke to me. I think things may be different in our respective parenting/disability philosophies, but I still feel a connection and sense of gratitude to both Monica and David’s mothers for raising such fine people.

Tell me: how’d you like it?

 

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The Best Down Syndrome Awareness Videos | Meriah Nichols

Thursday 27th of September 2018

[…] – full film. This is a documentary on two adults with Down syndrome who are in love. I wrote about it here; this is a great video to share either as a whole, or in […]

Kath Heyne

Saturday 31st of October 2015

Hi Meriah I'm a disability support worker and I've just watched Monica and David. The limits their parents -especially Monica's mother- imposed on the couple's independence troubled me, too. It helped that the parents were mindful of it, but I saw little willingness to change: instead I heard justifications to keep it up. Then I came across your review and the comments it generated and I cheered. Please stay fearless, be guided by Moxie and force society to change it's ways.

Meriah

Saturday 31st of October 2015

thank you! I will sure try!

Roxanne

Tuesday 8th of September 2015

I enjoyed it. My 45 year old sister has downs. She's beautiful! Our mother passed 4 years ago and I guess I've always known I would care for her. I haven't spent one night without her in 4 years. Mom was truly over protective of Tammy. I'm working with her more. We have a lot of fun. I know at 41 when Mom passed, learning new things with Tammy was going to be a challenge. I tried to get Mom to let Tmy do more, but she was so afraid that someone would be mean to her. The public in the 21st century is more accepting of special needs adults, but, there are always going to be one idiot that will show their ignorance. I try to teach the ignorant people, but yes, some refuse. I've taught Tammy to walk away. She knows who to call for protection. We also have a plan in place for when I pass away. I've always prayed I would go before Tammy. It was hard on both of us when Mom passed, but I truly don't think I could survive life without Tammy.

Mindie

Thursday 23rd of April 2015

The documentary was sweet. While I can understand the protective aspect, I was kind of annoyed when the parents wouldn't "let" them get a job at publix, or "let" them walk on the beach unsupervised. I also recall a clip showing one of the parents pouring their bowl of cereal. This couple is obviously capible of MUCH more than the parents want them to be. I was wondering if the marriage is legal, or if the wedding was just to fulfill Monica's life long dream of a wedding?

A "Feel Good" Story That Rings Wrong | With a Little Moxie

Tuesday 30th of April 2013

[...] inclusion for this tribe we care so much about. Let’s feel good about the stories like Monica and David, stories that are honestly a greater step in the right [...]

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